Friday, November 21, 2008

got that right

JOB TIPS: how to nail that gig!

Are you being sucked down the economic drain?  Me too!  And it's not a nice feeling. Fortunately, living in SE Michigan has given me some perspective.  So maybe I can help you get thru these rough times and see, if not the silver lining, at least the foil wrapping.

#1 - Do not get discouraged.  Looking for a job and getting nowhere takes a big psychic toll.  I know -- I've been essentially unemployed since moving to Michigan 3 long years ago (great idea, I know) (NOT mine!).  Guesstimating, I've probably sent out 300 resumes in that time.  Most get no answer at all.  After a while, you expect not to hear back.  Much worse is when you DO hear back, or even get an interview, and it comes to nothing.  This has also happened to me a number of times. Maybe it's because I'm from from New York -- Michigan people are generally very nice, but they have this "employees should be seen and not heard" vibe that I just don't get.  Even on my best fucking behavior, I seem to offend the hell out of every prospective employer. To which I say: get over it, prospective employer.    

So it's important to keep a sense of your own worth, even in the face of constant devaluation by people who don't know you, don't get you, never will, and don't even know how hopeless they themselves are.  

Empowerment Exercise:  Stand up tall, take a deep breath, and picture the last person who interviewed you for a job you didn't get.  Now say out loud:  FUCK YOU, PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER!  Visualize the person crumbing into a pile of dust and blowing away.  Repeat several times, then go out and take a long walk.


How are you gettin by?

















Advice for those 

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

peggy agar don't get no respect (but she's right)

Poor Peggy Agar -- Usually she's out by some godforsaken highway in the middle of the night, reporting on the bad driving conditions.  Today, for once, she gets a good, daylight assignment:  try and get close enough to Barack Obama to ask a question.

So off she goes to Sterling Heights, where Obama was walking around one of the last Chrysler plants standing.  And when he comes within 3 feet, she quick shouts out her question:  "What are you gonna do to help American auto workers?"  

Apparently not expecting a Detroit reporter to be around when anything important is happening, Obama brushes past her with a "Hold on one second, sweetie," but doesn't address the question.  Unfortunately, Agar says, he didn't address it later, either -- or, more importantly, in his comments to the auto workers.

When she got home, there was a message from Obama on her machine, apologizing for not getting to her question, and for calling her sweetie.  I'm sure Peggy Agar's been called worse, just being a reporter in Kwame Kilpatrick's kingdom.  Apology accepted, she said -- but he still didn't answer the question.  Which is actually a very good question.

I'm an Obama supporter, but Peggy Agar makes a good point:  he needs to get a stronger message for those working class men & women, white & otherwise, who Hillary Clinton has been so effectively connecting with lately.  I want to see that, but I haven't yet.  "He never spoke about the workers' biggest concern:  their future," Agar reported.   That is a BIG omission.  There's no way anybody, let alone a presidential candidate in this election year, should be talking to, of all people, auto workers in Detroit -- and not talk about how he knows they're under fire and what he's gonna do for them!  

I realize we still have time, and that Obama's a very smart guy and fast on the uptake and all that.  But I swear to God:  if he doesn't nail down and drive home a strong message the people will respond to, in this year when people are so ready to hear it --  If he turns out to be another understated, patrician, no-rough-stuff type like Kerry was, even as they were flattening him -- If we lose this election, which should be winnable by a freakin stuffed animal with a tag that says "democrat" -- I am NEVER, NEVER going to vote again, in whatever country I end up living in.

I'm behind you, Barack Obama ... Don't make me wish I'd gone with Hillary!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

the tag game

From my friend Bruce Hodges, music writer extraordinaire and genius behind the blog Monotonous Forest, comes this instruction:

1.  Pick up the nearest book.
2.  Open to page 123
3.  Find the fifth sentence
4.  Post the next three sentences.
5.  Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

OK: 

"The lumbermen were not good at cleaning up after themselves.  When a crew had felled all the trees within reach and cut off the tops and branches so that the trunks could be sawed into logs and carries away, the debris was usually left lying where it fell.  It lay there after the lumbermen moved on -- mile after mile of it, sometimes -- and the dead wood lost all of its moisture, the needles turned brown and grew brittle, and after a year or two or three the area became one vast unignited menace, as dangerous as an exposed powder magazine, waiting for one little accident."


[That's from Bruce Catton's autobiography, Waiting for the Morning Train, published in 1970.  Catton was one of the greatest Civil War historians.   This is a fantastic book about growing up in northern Michigan at the turn of the 20th century, but it's much more than a boyhood memoir; it's a meditation on how economic progress and environmental destruction go hand in hand, and how, once it's begun, technological change outstrips peoples' ability to control it or even choose whether to go on -- we're just sort of hangin on for the ride.]

I don't know very many bloggers, so I'm tagging Jackie Sheeler (Get Mad WITH Me!), Robert (Blue Heron Blast), Nicole Blackman (poet/performance artist), Steven Solomon (painter/solostudio.blogspot.com), and David Stavenger/Ghostboy (Australian poet/perfomance artist).

Monday, May 12, 2008

a city spinning its wheels

I wonder about this WXYZ news, I really do.  The mayor of Detroit has instituted a level of corruption here that makes Chicago look like a Swiss village.  Now at last the city council is finally, FINALLY censuring mayor Kwame Kilpatrick (ooh!) and is trying to figure out what comes next.

They can try to force him out, but it will get hung up in the courts and cost a lot of $$ which the city doesn't have (b/c Kwame's spent it all on Hawaiian vacations and giving his relatives jobs). Or they can ask the governor to fire him, which seems like the most expedient thing, but what would that involve?

Well we don't know, because the goddam local news cannot be bothered to give this story more than 2 minutes, even when it's their top story.  God forbid they should interview anybody who might give some context or interpretation of what it would mean for the city to try and force him out, or for the governor to get involved.  No, we can't get into that whole liberal-arts thing of actually thinking about this or trying to break it down for you, because we've got other fish to fry in the city of Deetroit -- 

Pointless shooting outside a laundromat this evening -- some guys in a burgundy sedan shot at a guy waiting for his girlfriend to come out with the laundry.   No one knows why.  Grazed his face, otherwise no one hurt (for once).

Vandals covered every inch of Phoenix Academy in SW Detroit in graffiti.

Progress in the American Axle strike -- this is another major story of national importance, but we get no details on what the progress consists of.  Ten seconds of footage of strikers on the picket line.

Gas is $3.82 a gallon, record high; traffic tie-ups; and the weather is going to get warm and sunny tomorrow -- it's been cold and rainy the last 2 days.  

Obama's coming to MI Wed., for a town hall meeting in McComb County (where, please) and some event in Grand Rapids (what? where? when?? jesus christ!) -- fifteen seconds total, the least informative news "story" in history.

Onward!  Thieves caught on tape stealing from a church.  Airport employee caught stealing passengers' luggage at Metro airport.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

this is why I started this blog

You're a TV reporter.  The mayor of  your city is arraigned in court on charges of obstruction of justice, conspiracy to commit obstruction of justice, misconduct in office, and perjury (and it was cool the way the presiding judge read 'em off:  perjury - misconduct in office - misconduct in office - perjury - perjury - perjury).  It's national news.  And the top story on your channel is you, standing outside in the middle of the night in front of the district court building where this happened 12 hours earlier, talking about whether or not the mayor and his former lover/now co-defendant, will be in court together? 

Then your channel's legal analyst is on for a total of 30 seconds -- and his "analysis" concerns when the trial might start.  

Then you have Monica Conyers of the city council coming on, talking about how it's a "sad day" for the city -- doesn't say (and isn't asked, of course) why she thinks that -- seems to me it's actually a very HAPPY day for Detroit, and for the city council especially, who are finally getting Ubu Roi off their backs just a little.  I guess Ms. Conyers didn't mind having phat-ass on her back!  Fortunately, Kwame Kenyatta and Ken Cockrel still retain some of their human dignity despite years of dealing with the Hip Hop Mayor, and are saying flat out it's time for him to go.  To which the Kwamster's press secretary responds, in preachy bullshit double-speak worthy of the Bush administration -- "You cannot steal an election, you must earn it"!  (now that's news).

A related story:  In the best-ever example of closing the barn door after it's burned down, city council is looking at capping the am't of money a mayor can spend w/o council approval.  Too bad that couldn't have happened about $9 million earlier...

Then, 60 black ministers in Hamtramck getting together to support and pray for the mayor. What in the fuck ---?!   I thought ministers were supposed to "support" ethical behavior and telling the truth and not cheating on your wife and stuff like that.  This is followed by a story about a special prayer service, for no reason other than just, you know, "the city needs prayer, the city is in pain" -- but no, no, "it's not about any person" -- we just do these little freakin songs-and-dances whenever the stars line up right.  What the fuck, did all the rejects from the OJ jury end up moving to Detroit?

And why is this crap on the news, anyway!  instead of them talking about the actual case against the mayor, interviewing legal experts (of which there are plenty at the University of Michigan, for example -- but that's not IN DETROIT) or business leaders who could talk about the image/economic repercussions this could have for the city, or anybody who could put the whole thing into some kind of context or give viewers some sense of what comes next.  I mean, really:  what does come next? 

Instead of taking this opportunity to educate people about what the law is, what public service is, what the mayor has done and why it's so serious, they do this bullshit high-school gossip "reporting" that serves absolutely nobody and ultimately helps increase the insularity of the city.  And then you end up with (as follows) 5-second soundbites of 3 out of 3 middle-aged white guys, businessmen, saying it's bad for business and the mayor should go, and 3 out of 5 thirtyish black men and women expressing sympathy and support for "Suge Knight" Kilpatrick.   "To see a person of his stature in court like a common criminal!" bemoans one.  Well, yes, if you behave like a common criminal!  

And this is why the guy was re-elected in the first place, although not the only reason, I'm sure.  Because you have a populace that apparently can't tell the difference between a good public servant and one who wants to be in office so he can carouse and carry on and travel on the public's dime, and employ friends and family members, and take everything  he can possibly steal from his city's people. 

A smart and thorough local TV news dedicated to educating its viewers is a powerful counterweight to these kinds of abuses.  In many ways, it's the only counterweight, because nobody cares as much about what's happening locally as the local news reporters.  Why is it that the media is so chronically unwilling or incapable of exploiting its own potential for improving human society and doing good?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

forget about being crucified in the phillipines, people

(an easter respite from the detroit news... hosanna, hey-sanna, sanna sanna ho:)

CRUCIFIXION BAD FOR YOU
[Canwest News Service, Canada / Thur. March 20, 200]

MANILA -- Health officials in the Phillipines warned the Roman Catholic faithful Wednesday that re-enacting the crucifixion could be bad for their health.

On Good Friday, dozens of people, mostly men, will be nailed to wooden crosses, while hundreds more will strip to the waist and whip themselves until their backs are cut and bloody as a way of atoning for their sins over the past year.

The department of health advised people taking part in the rituals to have a tetanus injection and to check the condition of the whip they will use before lashing their backs [advice we can all benefit from!].  It said dirty whips "welcome all sorts of infections and bacteria like tetanus."

Friday, March 21, 2008

for once it's worse somewhere else

Top story -- actually, only story:  we're getting a huge snowstorm, but Toledo's getting even more!  Supposed to have "bursts of heavy snow from time to time" until 2 a.m., then light snow till 7 a.m.  There's already about 6 inches of snow on the ground, another 2-4 due before it's all over.

Cheryl Chodun (back in the white knit hat) out by the highway (I-275 in Canton) in blizzard conditions -- fogged camera lens, halos around headlights -- reporting on spunout cars, interviewing a young driver who went into a ditch -- nobody hurt.  Tow truck driver:  "We'll be out all night" -- a bonanza for them -- no ploughs, of course (see earlier entries, below). 

Peggy Agar live on a bridge over M10 in Southfield, where absolutely nothing is happening -- "you can see there is snow down there, but we have also seen salt trucks out on the highway" -- Oakland Co. putting out salt/sand mix b/c they're low on salt.

Traffic tracker camera -- "roads appear to be wet and slushy" -- please drivers, "take it easy" (right).

Then on to the mayor scandal -- 2 top city officials (one Kwame's cousin) could face contempt charges for not cooperating with the investigation.  Monday is a big day, Wayne Co. prosecutor Kym Worthy (who has a kind of Veronica-Lake hair thing going, and a coy demeanor to match -- weird for a prosecutor) is announcing at a press conference Monday morning whether/what charges she will bring against the mayor.   Together, these stories took about 1 minute total.  Nobody interviewed for either one -- maybe the city shut down for Good Friday? 

Live pix of main street in Ferndale, a few cars going by in the blizzard.  The Death Report -- a young construction worker, and the lady in Florida who was hit in the head by a stingray (she was from Michigan).  Back to Peggy & Cheryl again, still out in the snow.  Pix from earlier today of the same storm hitting Minnesota and Chicago before it got here.  Big truck crash in MN -- no injuries.

Elsewhere in the midwest, it's flooding -- sandbags in Indiana, stranded cows in Missouri -- a house in Arkansas floating down a river, crashing into a bridge.  At least they don't have to pay their mortgage anymore!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

don't call me nigger -- it's unethical

WXYZ team still with the real news:  Lead story tonight, Detroit police chief Ella Bully Cummings talking abt a police officer who claims he's been intimidated b/c of what he knows about Kwame Kilpatrick's famous party-that-didn't-happen at the Manoogian Mansion.  For once, reporter Glenda Lewis is actually seen INDOORS! interviewing EBC earlier today (you'll be glad to know she takes the charges seriously and vows an investigation.  That would be a first for Chief Friend-of-Kwame).  And don't think Glenda's getting soft just because she was inside a building!  As ever, she filed her story from the great outdoors, "live in downtown Detroit" at 11 pm, in front of (I guess) Police Headquarters -- which looked quite closed  (like why would THEY be open at night).

Then Cheryl Chodun (no hat, camel hair coat) "live outside the Manoogian Mansion" to report that MI Attorney General Mike Cox FINALLY wants to talk with the former records clerk who claims to have seen a report that the murdered dancer, Tamara Greene, was assaulted by Kwame's wife at the party-that-didn't happen.  True to the station's high technical standards, the audio of Cox was almost inaudible.  

[Cox himself is a real piece of work on this issue -- he's never seen fit to question Kwame's wife at all about the party-that-didn't-happen.]

The city council is trying again with their resolution to get Kwame to resign -- they're bringin it for a vote on Tuesday.   Hopefully this time it'll get there.  Never has a governing body been so thoroughly hoodwinked and steamrolled and just plain dissed by an executive as the poor Detroit city council by the hip-hop mayor, Kwame "Suge" Kilpatrick.  Who used his State of the City message Tuesday to rant that HE was the REAL victim in the whole text message and perjury scandal!!  As quoted in this week's Newsweek:  "In the past 30 days I've been called a nigger more than any time in my entire life ... This unethical, illegal lynch-mob mentality has to stop."  The words unmitigated gall come to mind...   Mind you, this is same asshole who held a mock funeral for the so-called N-word last year.

But at least WXYZ is acting like journalists for a change! instead of ambulance-chasers, and reporting in a professional way on real news and not giving so much play to stories about dumb violent crime and pathetic-ass stupidity.  

"That said," as the cliche goes, we're not ready to abandon the forumla completely:   Chrysler -- the whole freakin company -- is closing down for 2 weeks this July -- a "cost-saving measure" worthy of the Chinese.  And the negotiations in the American Axle strike, which broke down Monday, are back on -- this strike has affected 28 GM plants.  There's a do-over deal in the works for the Michigan democratic primary.  Whosever brilliant idea that was to try and jump the line, THAT person should pay for the primary re-do!  Probably some republican (who can afford it).  And finally, mild weather tonight and over the weekend -- temps in the 40s!  Well damn, let me run right out there and plant a banana.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

it's a story about the mayor - why are you standing by the highway?

Breaking news tonight, as reported in the Detroit Free Press -- a very legit and serious story about text messages to/from Christine Beatty and a contractor friend of the mayor, who has made upwards of $45 million in city contracts since Kwame became mayor.  An altogether appropriate lead story.

My question is:  Why is the reporter, Bill Proctor, standing outside in the freezing cold, at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night, in front of the highway somewhere, far from where any city business questionable or otherwise is going down, to report this story??

There was also a "smash and grab" with a stolen Dodge Dakota at a CVS -- that's where they drive a car into a store in order to rob it.  An area of ice twice the size of Britain melted off from Antarctica last year, but morons in Detroit have time for this crap.  Inspired no doubt by the fine example of civic leadership and global awareness they have in both the mayor, and the auto industry.

Speakin of which, UAW/American Axle talks came to nothing today -- 17 more plants are scheduled for partial shutdown Monday.

And a couple of homeowners are putting their pet alligator ("he's part of our family for 15, 16 years now") up on craigslist so they can pay their mortgage, so they won't lose their house.  You won't hear that one on CNBC, as they chronicle what the "haves" call the credit crunch.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

For us it may not be so bad after all

Top stories:   Storm track is changing -- For us it may not be so bad after all!  Right now the storm is in Dallas (TX).  Tomorrow afternoon, not much of anything.   There's a winter storm watch from 4 a.m. Saturday till 7 p.m. Sunday.   Snow at its worst by noon Saturday -- 1 to 3 inches at the most.  Looks like Erie PA/Buffalo NY will get the worst of this one.

Horrible car accident in Orchard Lake -- 3 people in the hospital. Shot of wrecked car in the dark, and pavement (bloody?  can't tell -- it's dark)

Wife murderer Stephen Grant appealing his recent conviction -- the indomitable Cheryl Chodun, in white knit hat and shearling jacket, live outside the courthouse (which is closed, of course).

Kwame fighting a recall -- Christine Beatty's lawyer says it is "common" for people to "inadvertently" lie under oath.  Well, glad we got that cleared up!

Gov. Granholm doesn't want MI taxpayers to foot the bill for another presidential primary -- action news reporter Glenda Lewis actually indoors for this story -- "live in the newsroom" at WXYZ studios -- probably right down the hall.  Why can't she be in the same room with the 2 anchors, exactly?

American Axle strike -- Monday GM is going to halt or cut production at 5 more plants.  GM's prayers are being answered.

Sex crimes watch:  three very brief stories, two about adults on trial for molesting children, one about a flasher on the loose in Ann Arbor, targeting sorority houses.

Slaughter in Jerusalem (not enough blood flowing in Detroit, there's always the middle east!)

Explosion in Times Square (or New York!)

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

cars, crime, and the weather

3/4, top stories:  #1 - It's snowing!!   Winter storm warning still in effect till 7 a.m. -- Wyandotte had thunder along w/ snow tonight.   (the weather)

Peggy Agar out in a parking lot in Allen Park picks up a handful of snow to show you how much has fallen -- Southfield Rd (a major road) is totally clogged w/ snow (that's because they DO NOT PLOUGH out here) -- She talks to someone who saw a car spin out -- "Crews are nowhere near keeping up w/ this storm" -- b/c they don't bother to plough until there's already 4 or 5 inches of snow on the roads.  (cars, the weather)

Live cam on I75 shows the highway completely whited out -- cars going by.

Snow emergency in 8 cities.

#2, the primaries  (doesn't count)

#3, Cheryl Chodun "live outside police headquarters" in downtown Detroit, in the snowstorm at 11 o'clock, talking about stuff that happened this afternoon re: the Tamara Green murder.  Ella Bully Cummings, the reprehensible Detroit police chief, at an outdoor press conference (what, they don't have a room inside police headquarters for this?) being reprehensible.  (crime)

City council puts off the vote on the resolution calling for the mayor to resign  (crime)

The strike at American Axle will shut down a 6th GM plant, in Toledo  (cars)

Back to Peggy Agar, still out in the snow on Southfield Road (which has still not been touched by a plough)  (cars, the weather)


3/3, top stories:  #1 - The rain has changed to snow (yes, this was the top story) -- light snow, in fact -- Radar shows most of the storm has moved out -- "The snow event is over for tonight."  (the weather)

A reporter outside in the dark by an I94 overpass with flooding underneath.  (cars, the weather)

#2, Cheryl Chodun (with no hat!) reporting "live from downtown Detroit" on the renewed investigation into Tamara Greene's death.   She was a stripper murdered in a drive-by shooting, following a party at the Manoogian mansion that Kwame Kilpatrick says never happened.  Now they are saying she was shot with a "police gun."   (violent crime)

#3, City council votes tomorrow on whether Kwame should stay or should he go -- his mother, Rep. Carolyn "Cheeks" Kilpatrick says it's "up to the voters to decide".  (crime)



3/2, top stories:  #1 -  "A terrifying crash involving 5 children" -- 3-car accident caused by driver w/ open alcohol in car.  The reporter was outside, as usual, but for once talking to the "5 children" in question -- all of whom were fine.   (The guy with the open alcohol hit them, then another car; he, his passenger, the other driver in hospital.)   (cars, violence)

#2 - A reporter was outside of some building in downtown Detroit, in the middle of the night, reporting on the Wayne Co sheriff's new initiative to prosecute drug dealers for homicide when people OD.   (crime, drugs)

#3, the weather -- the dreaded "wintry mix" coming / Jerry Hodak (weatherman) informed us the previous night that March would "come in like a weasel."  (the weather)

2 more GM plants about to close as a result of the strike at American Axle -- but they're in Texas and Wisconsin, for a change.  Also, Big 3 to report "dismal" sales tomorrow for the quarter.   (cars)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

they're still being pros

I missed the top stories tonight b/c I was watching George Carlin on HBO, who is funnier at age 70 than I ever thought he was back in the day.  I didn't realize how much Lewis Black owes to him.  Or maybe Carlin's been imitating Black lately, I don't know!  But he was very funny.  A little harsh, but funny.

And last night WXYZ was still being professional.  As long as they stay on Kwame Kilpatrick, they do OK.  When that story slows down, though, I promise you they'll be back to house fires and armed robberies and auto industry layoffs and snow.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Of course, they got their act together as soon as I started this blog

Wouldn't you know -- last night, WXYZ all of a sudden went "pro"!   The top story (which took up half the broadcast) was about Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who is in epically deep shit at the moment.   Yesterday, the Michigan Supreme Court denied his appeal to keep secret the details of his paying $9 million -- that's right, dollars nine million -- of city money to two Detroit cops who had information that could cost him his job if it got out.  This in a town that is second only to New Orleans in how poor and just generally beat it is.

So Kwame -- the "hip hop mayor" -- pays these guys $9 million dollars of CITY MONEY to keep quiet about fact that he lied under oath and otherwise tried to cover up an affair he was having with a woman on his staff.   Lest you think maybe this is just a Clinton-style witch hunt, it isn't. First of all, there are no republicans in Detroit.  Second, Kwame Kilpatrick is so completely corrupt it is funny.  This is not a question of a capable public servant who had a lapse in judgment.  If Kwame Kilpatrick did something that wasn't crooked, that would be news.

So he buys these guys' silence.  But the story gets out anyhow.  Then the two cops testified about what they knew, and the deal came to light, and of course the city had to subpoena the documents because Kwame refused to release them.  This brings us to yesterday.  The Michigan Supreme Court said the documents were a matter of public record, and ordered them released, and now we have proof of just how bad this guy is.  The city prosecutor deposed two members of the city council yesterday, and they're investigating charges of perjury, obstruction of justice, and various improprieties against the mayor.  Lots of calls for him to resign.

But the credible job done on this important story did not mean that Cheryl Chodun wasn't out in the freezing cold at 11:10 last night, in her white knit hat and parka, "reporting live" from a downtown Detroit intersection (??); or that Glenda Lewis wasn't "live outside the Manoogian Mansion" (Kwame's big house, for now) in the snow and darkness.

True to form, right after this came the car story -- "a strike at American Axle is forcing layoffs in SE Michigan" -- and of course, snow -- the snow just passed -- the Alberta clipper (midwestern for "snow from Canada") forming out in Montana that will reach us Friday.


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Top Story: Ice on the Roads in February!

Last night the weather was the top story.  It basically snowed all day yesterday, we ended up with about 6 inches of snow in SE Michigan.

First:  WXYZ always has their reporters out in some godforsaken place at 11 o'clock at night, to give "live" reports from some location where nothing is happening.   Usually this is because it happened hours ago.  Why these people have to go and stand out in the cold, in the middle of the night, for something that isn't happening anymore, is one of the great mysteries of Detroit news.

Second:  For whatever reason, the reporters are always standing outside -- you never see them indoors, ever!  They're never IN city hall or IN the court house or IN the hospital -- it's always "Live OUTSIDE of Wayne County Courthouse," or in front of a house that burned down during the afternoon,  or at some intersection where a child was run over by an SUV.  Point is, whatever happened is long over with, but the WXYZ reporters are still out there.

Third:  All top stories must have something to do with cars (traffic tie-ups, construction on "The Lodge," bad driving conditions, big accidents, or huge auto industry layoffs), arson, murder, or violent crime.  IF IT BLEEDS, IT LEADS  -- that is THE rule of journalism here for sure.  An armed robbery at a 7/11 in Hamtramck is always gonna be the lead story, no matter how many millions of dollars Kwame Kilpatrick steals from the city.

So anyway, last night's Top Story:  Cheryl Chodun, one of WXYZ's 2 female reporters who is ALWAYS outside at night, standing in front of a cyclone fence over the highway:  "It was kind of hit or miss on the major freeways tonight, you'd just be going along -- and then there'd be an icy spot."

Then a male reporter talking about damaged power lines -- to give you the idea that crews had to shut off the power to repair, they make the screen go black for 5 seconds.

Bad stationary-cam shot of a freeway in the dark, with flashing lights to one side -- "Looks like somebody slid off there or got themselves turned around."

Then finally, good news!  "Wayne County's supply of salt is holding up at a hefty 130 tons" -- woo hoo!

(Not that they use it:  One interesting thing about Detroit is they don't plough the roads here till there's at least 6 inches of snow.  I don't know if this is a budget thing or what, but it's insane.  In Cook County (Chicago), they get 6 *flakes* of snow and the ploughs are out.  There's a very good historical reason for that which I won't go into right now -- Point is, SE Michigan REALLY needs to get its snow removal act together.  What is up with not ploughing??  New Jersey has way better salt/sand/plough procedures than this place, and gets like 1/10th the freakin weather!)